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Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Subject:Identical Owl Post to all printed wizarding publications:
Time:8:09 am.
STOLEN LOST:
In KNOCKTURN ALLEY near The Wizard's Staff brothel Public House, 1 (ONE) WAND: ASH, 13" Not exaggerating! CORE OF ASHWINDER ASH. Worn handle, burned imprint RB in base. Whereabouts also sought: "Pretty Polly" worker at Wizard's Staff Brothel. NOT VALUABLE EXCEPT TO OWNER.

LARGE REWARD IF FOUND. No questions asked, definitely none answered.

Note to editor: PLEASE RETAIN CAPITALISATION. It is there for a REASON.
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Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Subject:HEY LETS ALL KILL TREES AND EAT FRUITCAKE
Time:4:24 pm.
I THINK CHRISTMAS IS STUPID.

THERE, I SAID IT.
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Saturday, October 20th, 2007

Subject:Owl Parcel Post: Luna Lovegood
Time:3:22 pm.
A large boquet of tulips with multicoloured tie-dye-patterned petals is delivered to Luna's office at Hogwarts. Attached is a card:

Can't think why I thought of you when I saw THESE. How'd you like some laughs on Tuesday? I'll need them after I have to teach the firsties what a Hoover is. I don't actually know myself but I'm sure I can find out.

RAB
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Sunday, October 14th, 2007

Subject:Owl Post: Luna Lovegood
Time:6:09 pm.
Your wish is my command! Come away with me to Hogsmeade. We will trip the light fantastic or at very least the light interesting. MEET YOU AT THE FRONT GATES in half an hour!

RAB
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Subject:Owl Post: Luna Lovegood
Time:9:29 am.
Luna LUNA!

I could always do with drinks. IT IS HARD NOT TO LAUGH with drinks! When and where? Name your day!

IS IT ME or are the students getting UPPITY lately?

RAB
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Saturday, October 13th, 2007

Subject:Public Post
Time:9:12 pm.
HEY WOAH WHAT IS THE YELLOW THING

WHY IS IT WINKING AT ME
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InsaneJournal for toujours_stfu.

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